


One With The Waves

by OnlyOneWoman



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Bottoming from the Top, Derdrian, Emotional Constipation, Emotions, Especially Deran, Gay Sex, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Poor Adrian, Poor Deran, Sexual Content, because they are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 08:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11459733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/pseuds/OnlyOneWoman
Summary: So... Just found this series a couple of days ago, got completely hooked and these two idiots made me take a step outside that glorious Black Sails sandbox I've been playing in for little more than a year now. I'm in love with this unhealthy relationship, it seems.Title from Nightwish's "Ocean Soul", because Deran and Adrian are surfers and I'm sappy.





	One With The Waves

He’s still outside, clenching his fists, face twitching like he’s nervous which he isn’t. Deran Cody doesn’t get nervous even with a gun in his face, at least not enough to stop this. The adrenaline rush he gets from a job, the absolute focus on one clear goal for a short period of time, all senses on high alert and then, hopefully, success and enough cash to just fleet on the waves until next job is what he lives for. It’s who he is but he needs some time off. From the job and the family, especially Smurf, but most of all from himself.  
  
The darkness is soothing, it’s late and the only lights in Adrian’s house comes from the bedroom, a weak lamp, which means he’s probably in bed but hasn’t fallen asleep yet. Deran doesn’t know why he’s here. He’s just closed the bar, he’s too tired to fuck and Adrian probably doesn’t want him near. Deran wouldn’t, if he was Adrian. He deserves better than this, someone who can be gentle, who wont constantly meet his kindness with the same sensitivity as a coyote. Sometimes Deran doesn’t know whom he despises more: himself for treating Adrian like this, or Adrian for forgiving him. For giving Deran chances he doesn’t deserve.  
  
Last time he snuck through a window like a burglar but he’s not here for a quick fuck and he doesn’t want to scare Adrian again. He takes a deep breath, leaves the car and hopes he looks calmer than he feels. His skin seems too tight for his body, like it’s trying to squeeze him dry, grinding it’s own bones to sand and slowly robbing him of blood and air. It’s nothing like the fear that comes with a job not turning out as planned, the fear of getting caught and not only loose freedom but doing it because of his own stupidity. Smurf can be forgiving when it suits her, it takes more than a job going wrong to make her stop loving her boys but with Adrian… Adrian who can’t wish Deran good luck and just be cool about it because he doesn’t give a fuck about money or family, only about Deran being _safe_. Once Deran thinks his face looks indifferent enough, he rings the door bell.  
  
An eternity later, the lock clicks and two serious, blue eyes are looking at him.  
  
”What are you doing here?”  
  
The tone is defensive and normally, Deran would snap and just leave because he’s the fucking runaway king when it comes to relationships and hates being at disadvantage, to loose control over this like he _needs_ Adrian for something more than sex. But he’s not snapping, not leaving. Instead he swallows and makes a small twitch with his head, trying to look indifferent.  
  
”Gonna let me in or not?”  
  
Adrian simply opens the door. He’s wearing a tanktop, loose fitting and the black colour bleached from too many washes and too much use, lightwashed jeans and he doesn’t look happy to see Deran. Which Deran is the last person to blame him for. He gets inside and Adrian locks the door behind them.  
  
”How’s the bar going?”  
”Fine. Lots of costumers.”  
”Guess Smurf wasn’t among them.”  
  
Deran rubs his face and sighs.  
  
”Can we just… _not_ talk about Smurf or anyone in my family?”  
”Sure. What do you want?”  
  
_Too much and I deserve non of it._ Deran has never been good at these things. When it comes to jobs, surfing, cars, bikes and fucking sky diving he’s not foolhardy. He takes the risks, yes, but he doesn’t leave things to chance unless it’s necessairy and he loves the sense of control it gives him. With Adrian, he’s not in control and that’s a risk that doesn’t give Deran an adrenaline rush, but gut wrenching anxiety. They’re still in the hallway and Deran simply grabs hold of Adrian’s tanktop, pulls him close and kisses him.  
  
It’s hard and messy, his lips are trembling, there is too much of what he wants, what he so desperately needs and has spent years hating himself for. Adrian doesn’t hate him, doesn’t hate either of them and isn’t ashamed of what they’ve shared or what they want. Adrian is calm and strong. Adrian is the ocean, he’s like the waves, like a steady pulse just beating in a soothing rhythm, making Deran dream of things that aren’t for him. Delicate things. When they break the kiss, Deran can’t make himself meet Adrian’s eyes, he doesn’t want that look on him because it sees too much.  
  
”You want a beer or something?”  
”I’m fine, thanks.”  
  
Adrian just turns around and starts walking back to his bedroom.  
  
”You’re coming or not?”  
  
Deran follows, pulse raising in a way it shouldn’t because he’s not here for sex and they’re not surfing and the moment things aren’t about sex or having a good time on the waves, Deran is no longer on safe ground. He wants Adrian, wants him in ways he doesn’t even have a name for yet and it scares the living shit out of him.  
  
The bedroom isn’t very large and Adrian’s computer is on with a paused game on the screen. He doesn’t turn it off, just faces the window, looking out to the darkness. In the reflection from the glass, he can see Deran’s hair hanging loosely around his face, like a sun bleached curtain. When he closes his eyes, he can feel large hands around his shoulders in a tight, almost bruising grip. Deran is always rough, _they’re_ rough with each other and Adrian likes it, likes the way Deran fucks him into oblivion like an animal, but right now he doesn’t want it like that and he sighs. Deran removes his hands.  
  
”What?”  
  
The tense voice, the underlying fear Deran can’t be aware Adrian knows of because if he was, he would leave and never come back. There’s just too much weakness in needing anything more than sex. Adrian searches for Deran’s hands and swirls them around him, still not looking and he tilts his head a little, brushing up against the chin, feeling scraping beard on his neck and the warm breaths that tickles the short hairs on his nape.  
  
He brushes his thumbs over the back of Deran’s hands and then moves them to his chest, pressing the palms close, close to him and he can feel Deran getting hard, how his cock is pressing against his ass and should they do like they always do it, they’d simply just rip their clothes off and get on with it. Instead, Adrian turns around, eyes closed and searches for Deran’s lips, nibbles them softly and instead of deepening the kiss like Deran wants, he moves to the man’s ear.  
  
”Can we… make it slow?”  
  
He knows Deran can’t meet his eyes now and so he keeps them shut and moves back to his mouth, kissing it, deepening it to swirl their tongues together and Deran’s hands are pressing him closer, the pressure from the palms hard and domineering, desperate because Deran Cody doesn’t do slow, doesn’t do sweetness like this, because this isn’t Belize and their relationship is unhealthy even when it’s at it’s bests.  
  
But the kiss is sweet, it’s consuming and Deran allows it, allows Adrian to swirl a leg around his hip, allows clothed thrusts and squeezes his hands hard around Adrian’s ass, digging his fingers into it and Adrian moans because he loves thoses hands, loves how they feel when not scared, when not in haste. When he can feel Deran loosing himself in the moment, shutting out the family, the job, Smurf and his own shame completely, no longer letting them invade his mind and make him restless, defensive and worried. The long hair tickles Adrian’s face and Deran groans a little when Adrian tugs at it, roughly as he knows Deran wants.  
  
They remove clothes, not tearing or tugging, not particuralry careful either, just calm. This, whatever it is, has always existed on the side of their lives. _They_ , if they indeed are something, anything at all more than a re-visited memory of Belize, re-played in bleached colours, usually aren’t careful. Deran’s made it clear he doesn’t want it like that and Adrian has accepted it for a long time now, not pushed his aloof lover, but this can’t just be about what Deran needs and Adrian drags him along to the bed, pushing him down in a dominant way he usually never does and straddles him.  
  
For just a short moment, the dangerous glimpse, the warning sign in Deran’s eyes shows up because he doesn’t like being dominated, not by Adrian, not by anyone. Adrian takes their cocks in one hand and rubs them together. He loves the feeling of the smooth hardness, how the leaking precum wets them both and how Deran’s breaths go strained, how he digs his short nails into Adrian’s hips and just follows, just moves himself in rhythm without rushing, without impatience. Adrian leans over to the nightstand, grabs the lube with his free hand and opens it using his teeth. He lets go of their cocks, pours a good amount of lube in his palm and smoothes it over two of Deran’s fingers. He can see how the usually distant eyes become warmer, clearer as Deran starts stretching him. He’s gentle, he’s fucking good at this when he allows himself to do it, to cross the boarder of gentleness and get more intimate than he’s comfortable with.  
  
And it feels good, so damn good with those long, slick fingers pumping up inside him, loosening him up and making Adrian’s cock weep and smear over the warm skin on Deran’s belly. Adrian removes the fingers, places himself right over Deran’s cock and moves slowly, like he’s teasing but he’s not. He just wants to feel the burn in full, how Deran fills him up, his cock slides in and makes his ass clench around it, squeeze hard and make the man hiss before Adrian relaxes again, loosening and starts moving.  
  
They’ve never done it like this and Deran still has his eyes closed as Adrian rides him like the waves they love so much. Slow, deep and grinding, coming down heavily, each time feeling how Deran hits his prostate, hearing his breaths getting louder, more erratic and Adrian’s own breathing turns into moans, shameless noises broken only by breathless words about how good it is, how big Deran feels inside him and Adrian’s own cock slaps up and down against Deran’s skin. He can feel the man’s need for him, how desperate the grip around his hips is, how he’s letting Adrian take control and just moves with him, follows his pace and relaxes.  
  
He’s taking Adrian’s cock in a large, callous fist, smearing precome from the leaking head down the shaft and Adrian starts moving faster, rides him harder, fucks through the slick fist as he comes all over Deran’s chest and he stops moving, muscles clenching too hard around Deran’s cock and he tries to breathe calmly, loosening up and Deran plants his feet on the mattress, slamming hard and fast inside him, prolonging Adrian’s orgasm while firing off with a long, deep groan, nails almost breaking Adrian’s skin and eyes squeezed shut.  
  
When Adrian moves away, Deran finds himself too heavy to do the same. He’s smeared with cum, his head slow and he knows he should get up, should clean up, get dressed and get the hell out of here but he can’t. Adrian goes to the bathroom and comes back with a towel for Deran and opens the window fully. He needs air. Deran wipes himself off and throws the towel on the floor, looking like he’s not sure how to move from here and Adrian returns to the bed, lays down beside his lover/friend with benefits/whatever the fuck and turns the light off.  
  
”You’re staying?”  
  
Deran’s silhuette is turned away, hesitating and Adrian can almost see how the Californian shadow comes back, how it tries to choke Belize, lock it away to be kept safe, hidden and slowly dying. Without a word, Deran goes back to bed, gets under the thin cover and spoons him. His mouth rests in Adrian’s neck, the rough hand moving in tender circles over his chest.  
   
Deran knows he doesn’t deserve this. Adrian should have someone better and Deran should… yes, what? _May we always get what we want and never what we deserve._ Deran thinks the Cody motto never suited anything as well as this. He will always want Adrian, no shame or business can ever make the need for him go away. It’s a dangerous game he’s playing, for both of them, and tonight they’ve crossed a line Deran never intended to cross. He’s so weak for this man and that’s what disgusts him. That he can’t control himself around him, that a part of him even whisper of leaving the job, leaving his brothers, leaving Smurf and this whole life behind and start over.  
  
That’s a weakness Deran can’t allow himself, this, laying with Adrian close and just stroke him softly over the chest, just pull his scent deep into his lungs and feel how they come closer to sleep, how Deran’s own breathing finally slows down to the soothing rhythm of Adrian’s, both of them one with the waves as the night allows them to shut the world out. It’s a weakness, it’s dangerous and Deran never wants it to end. Finally, the last barrier, his own ability to keep his emotions in check, gives up for the night and Deran buries his nose in Adrian’s hair, letting the sound of waves and the man’s calm breaths lull him to sleep.


End file.
